Unstable ground, once again

I’ve missed you, diabetes family! I’ve been curled up in my bed for the better part of a month now, dealing with a headache so severe it is almost unimaginable.  See, I have this little known condition called pseudotumor cerebri, also called idiopathic intracranial hypertension.

“Pseudotumor cerebri literally means “false brain tumor” because it’s symptoms mimic those of brain tumors. It is also (more accurately) called Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension (IIH). The term idiopathic is applied because it’s cause is not truly known. It is likely due to high pressure caused by the buildup or poor absorption of cerebrospinal fluid in the subarachnoid space surrounding the brain, but the reason for the buildup or poor absorption are also unknown.” (About.com Headache guide, Teri Robert)

I have been laying down, in a no-gravity tilt position to try to take the pressure off of my back and head. That is the only position in which I am even somewhat comfortable. So, in an hour or so, I will leave to go over to the hospital for pre-op, first with the neurosurgery team, then with the anesthesia team. My surgery is next Thursday, 5/17/12. I have to have my VP Shunt replaced. (What the heck is a VP shunt you say?!? check out this link!! http://neuroanimations.com/Hydrocephalus/Shunts/VP_Shunt.html)

I’ve had this surgery twice, but when I had it before, I was on my old regimen of a ton of pain medication, the regimen that I don’t want to get back to ever again on a day to day basis, and my body was “conditioned” in a way for having surgery. I was used to having surgeries and the hospital, even more so than now. I also was still getting tube feedings and hydration with vitamins and minerals through an IV during my first surgery. I know mentally that I will be fine without those things, but I also know that I am now a huge clot and bleeding risk, and that makes this all the more risky. That’s fine, because I know that I’m in the best hands possible, but the nerves are still there.

The biggest punch in the gut is that I not only didn’t get to have any choice in the date, but it is the same date that I am supposed to go to see Wicked with my sister and her boyfriend, and I’ve been asking for tickets to go every year that it has come to town, and I *finally* got them this year, and now I can’t go.  It also takes me out of the DiabetesSisters conference and orange:will walk, for which I have been training diligently for a couple of months, until I fell a couple of weeks ago.  I am still going to submit all of the virtual miles that I’ve tracked from training, and that I will track while recovering. That’s the best that I can do, and all I can really do.

I will try to keep you all posted between now and then.

(dHugs),

Aliza Chana

test Filed under about Aliza, anxiety, diabetes, DiabetesSisters, hospitalization, OCD, scared and nervous, surgery, update | Tags: diabetes, DiabetesSisters, health, INR, neurosurgery, surgery | Comments (2)